This is about the 4th time I’ve tried to resurrect this blog idea I’ve had for over a decade now.
I’m not going to get into my whole story right this minute – because I just need to spill out what’s in my head about this entire thing, but the bottom line is that I got scared last night.
I was telling my hubs that I was feeling super tired and that my feet hurt where the callouses are. To the point where walking was painful. He suggested that I check my blood glucose level, since it’s been a bajillion years since that last happened.
I had been finished with dinner for over an hour, but the meter read 383. I called my doctor’s exchange at 7pm on a Friday night trying not to sound too panicked, but yeah, that was probably one of the highest numbers I’d ever seen with the exception of once or twice.
The on-call phoned back and said that it wasn’t too worrisome unless it kept going up. So drink like a thousand gallons of water, pee it all out, and check again in an hour. If it goes up, call her back.
(Being completely transparent, here: I explained to her that I hadn’t been taking meds or even checking for all but 3 days in the past 4+ years. And then I began to sob with shame. WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES?)
So I drink the water, pee, and check again an hour later. 491. Holyshitballs. I call back, she sends me to the ER.
While once again explaining to the doctor there about the lack of monitoring and handling and doing what I was supposed to be doing for 4+ years, I began to cry some more. He said he was glad there was this wake-up call and of course reminded me what I already knew: My daughter needs me to get this under control.
About 4 hours later, I’m on my way home after two saline drips, 5mg of insulin, and half a gigantic metformin. (I won’t even go there with how well that went over in my system… if you’ve ever taken metformin, you are WELL AWARE.) They released me at 287. I came home, ate a handful of peanuts and a cheese stick and fell asleep.
I woke up this morning and took it again… 237.
There are a ton of reasons I’m taking this all so seriously right now, but it’s truest that my daughter needs me. And I need her. I am not going to let diabetes cripple me or prevent me from giving and sharing the life with her that she so deserves.
And on that note… time to head off to enjoy our Saturday! But thank you for coming, and reading. And in 10 years when I’m all healthy and stuff… I’ll look back on this post with amazement.
I’m gonna do it this time!